Don't Tell Me What to Do!

How do you feel when you are told to perform your duties better? When you are constantly judged on what kind of mother are you; when you are blamed if the baby is not eating. For god sake! If the child doesn’t want to eat what am i suppose to do? The baby is almost three years old now and you cannot force her if she doesn’t want to eat. Just because I am her mother do you think I have magic wand and all I have to do is to tap it and baby will eat?

I fail to understand, what kind of cheap thrills one gets by sending other people on a guilt trips. When they just go on like a broken record...you are a bad mother...you are a selfish mother...I say FUCK YOU!!

Dude, i know what kind of mom i am; i don’t owe you an explanation. And nagging me doesn’t make you any better at parenting and If you are so upset about me not feeding her why don’t you take the plunge and do it? Oh, but then you have your reasons...right? She doesn’t eat when you try?? And what in the fucks name give you a right to nag me? Am I any different? How do you suppose that i will be able to feed her? She will eat when she wants; didn’t her doctor say the same thing?

What is it you want from me? I am tried on your mood swings; grow up and act like a mature person!

You think it’s Just-A-Party? Think Again...

God, how annoying is it when someone in your family throws a party and you are specifically told to dress up appropriately. I mean, come-on, do i tell you guys not to dress up in blinding red and green colours and wear kilos of jewellery. BTW, how do you manage to carry around those –a kilo each- danglers? What kind of adhesive do you use to avoid your ears from falling? (You have no idea how I resist the temptation to ask all this.) And have you seen those aunties who wear like layers of makeup and you can’t even make out if they are smiling or grimacing at you. And boy! Try calling them Aunty!

Anyway, so basically, they are not too happy with me turning up in my casual dresses (Mind you- nice white or light pink in cotton) and if i dare to dress up in jeans and tee or skirt, they might give orders of – Shoot at Sight!

I think, best option will be to just skip it -but i can’t even do that- danger of being chased about with a gun around the city for next year or two.  So, I will have to brave them on Saturday and I already started to have nightmares. Talk about family time...

Haven’t bought anything, so far, can’t get myself to waste 10-15k on a sari i won’t wear ever again. Guess, i will make a puppy face and ask someone from my family to lend me a sari for a night. Well, must start with zeroing on the person and then being good to her for a couple of days. Think it should do the trick.

Or will leave the list of items, i need for this party, under my pillow;  just in case god mother fairy picks dear me this time not that, her favourite,  stupid Cinderella.

This one is for...hmm...ME!

Isn’t it a great feeling, when you wait with a bated breath just to chat with a friend? Why does this happen?  And oh boy! How you don’t want this to be over, but you know what, you know all this will be over sooner than later. So you pray even harder for it not to be over. And then you get more scared of the fact that it will. And this is, I tell you, is a vicious circle. The whirlwind!

I think, the problem with our species is being ungrateful and greedy all the time, you want something bad enough, but when you get it you lose all  the respect for it. And there, now you want something else! Sometimes I feel bad for god, poor thing; must be going crazy up there with our volatile minds and demands. But didn’t you ask for something else, just the opposite, like ten minutes back- he would have asked us, only if he too had a telephone.

Okay so back to what I was discussing; it’s a great feeling, very fulfilling, to have a friend with whom you can be yourself, share you joys and doubts, without the fear of being coming across as an arse, talk about your problems you wouldn’t even discuss with you siblings and be assure that your secrets are not going anywhere. But the problem is the thin line between friendship and something else, and we just being mortal get confused at times.  Lets again blame god for making us this confusing…couldn’t he chose some nice, intelligent, clear-headed man for our genes pool, why oh why did he limited it to Noah?

How I keep derailing from the essential topic; so I was saying, that how do you make sure that you stay friends for life- for I have a few friends I do plan to retain lifelong. And again, why do you want a specific one to be your best friend and best friend for life? Isn’t as a rule your spouse should be your best friend?  Doesn’t everyone preach you so? But the problem is how are you going to bitch about your spouse with him/her only? Didn’t I raise the most pertinent questions?  (oh I could have been a lawyer but end up being a big lair)

I am bad at retaining friends; I have a bad history of having loony friends. I somehow attract wrong and mean people, but then who cares. Life is all about committing mistakes and not learning from those.  Who wants to waste time learning and remembering and then trying not to commit the same mistake again? For starters I Don’t  and I never will!

Anyway, I’m not coming to conclusion; this blog is not about conclusions and answers and logic. It is about writing down my random thoughts and then read them once I’m 60 and count my friends and see if I still think the same.

Here’s to the Most Opinionated Person in Office

He might be a person with a condescending attitude and an opinion about everything in life- from office loo to ‘much expected’ clients. But I have started to like his company off late, because he, I have seen, can strike interesting conversations with anyone and everyone.  Actually, I’m his evening driverJ. I drop him off till CR Park , and during this 45 minutes drive we have fascinating conversation on what needs to be changed  in this country to this company.

We rant about our day and pass opinions and comments about other people and  colleagues. Only yesterday, he was telling me about this girl in office, and to quote him, “what a beauty she is, and I fail to understand why all the guys in this office are idiots; why are they not eyeing her?” and he being he will not buy any of the explanations such as what is she already has a BF (it’s her prob- says him) or what if they all have GFs (  they are wasting their time and are idiots then). I think, he must be regretting that he is married, well though he did not say so…hehehe.

oh! by the way he doesnt find this other 'quite pretty' girl in office pretty, coz as per him she is dumb, and a dumb women can never be attractive. :D

But all in all, he is a good company, some times a bit annoying and mostly loud, but he is an intelligent  guy  and like me has a thing for bitching and cribbing. :D

P.S.- You better not start on  politics or sports with him, he can talk about it without eating or drinking for days…he is a BONG!

I’m online shopping sites favorite too

So I’m not only ‘my favorite’ (Aka Karina style in Jab we met) any longer, I think most of the deal and shopping sites are in love with me. What do they care, if my husband’s love go a notch down every time I reciprocate to the love showered by such ecommerce site. 

I must be getting something around 6- messages and about 10 emails every day from various such sites.  While I am expected to spend half of my day going though all the best deals available every day what do I get in return?  Rotten deals, while Fashion and you took more than a month to deliver my coat, winters were almost over by the time I received it, number given on the deal and you voucher was unobtainable ( but I did manage to talk to someone at the parlor and get an appointment for coming Saturday J)- so the final verdict will be delivered post that.

Now, what I would really love to see is some credits for falling for your well written charming word, every time. But please spare me from some ridiculous points such as 100, coz I got 150 points from Fashion and you, and after spending 150 hours going through every page of the site I couldn’t find a single item for 150 bucks L. So, let’s play fair please…not bait thingy, if you want to retain this customer of yours.

Now I’m running to have my lunch…rest later

   Ciao, Bella

I'll Still Live My Life How I Want To...

Read on twitter how Amit Mitra current Finance Minister of West Bengal kind of put the blame on a woman who was raped because she had gone to a night club, she is separated from her husband, leaving kids at home.

What I fail to understand and, I think, people don’t even make an effort to understand is that because you are a woman don’t you even have a right on your own life? What is wrong with people? I am in no mood to bash Amit Mitra or call him chauvinist. I just want people to respect each other. Because this woman is an estrange wife and a mother…cant she go to night club and enjoy life? Does it make her a bad person? Will one has to pay with her dignity for this?

Our parents, families are forced to take extra care of us, women. Will my dad check and try to make all the arrangements when my brother goes out of station? Will he come with driver to drop him at airport at 3 in the morning? But even if my dad makes all this extra efforts, I wonder, if he can breathe easy till the time I’m back home. And now my husband is in my dad’s shoe. I love my dad…my husband… but I hate it that even now they have to worry about me…no matter how many times I tell them I will manage…I can see it in their eyes they are concerned.

Will this ever stop? I think only with me gone… because people will never stop looking at women as more than an object and not a human being. Rules for women are different…if she goes out at night… she is responsible for the trouble she gets into…if she drinks meet male friends she deserved to be raped…and looked down at.

But I refuse to live how society wants me to…and I don’t care what you categorize as virtue and vice. I am going to live my life how I want it…doing things I want to do…because my life is the only thing I have complete right on.

Daily battle between GOOD and BAD

Sometimes, I wonder who decides Good and what is Bad? Shouldn’t all the things that make you happy be put in the ‘GOOD’ category? Well, then what if, punching someone in face makes me happy. Ofcourse, it can’t be considered GOOD. Okay, so how about something which makes me happy and doesn’t hurt anyone, as long as people don’t get to know about it, can it be considered GOOD??

or should I say, is it okay to lie to your loved ones because you don’t want to hurt them, because you know your action are going to hurt them badly?

I know you will think, why do something which you know will hurt your loved ones, anyway? But I ask you, cross your heart and tell me honestly, is it easy to refuse happiness?

Be it going for those secret shopping trips or meeting friends anything?
But my question is how far can you go…

Ofcourse! she loves me the most :)

So, my hubby really spoils our daughter and keeps telling her that he loves her the most. Infact, he keeps asking her : who do you love the most and then answers himself boastfully, “Daddy”; while the little one just sit there thinking, so now, how do I put some sense in his big head!!


That is not the point; the point is her first sentence, which was a couple of weeks back, was: Daddy… DHoo (read: go) away! Tada! So much for who do you love the most! bhooo

Ofcouse, she loves her Mummy dear the most, and that is incontestable, Darling. Wohoo!!

Winter is making me romantic – for the first time!!

Today I loved driving to office, looking at the blurry sky, beautifully but naturally shaped trees, and above all maddening Delhi traffic jam, all this ignited and brought to life that dead romance in me. Oh yes, I can be romantic, atleast when I’m alone driving and trying my best not to be late to office, like yesterday or day before for that matter like every other damn day, and honking and sneering at fellow drivers.



Ohh, the point is that I was feeling so romantic, so romantic that I wrote an email to one of the authors telling him, that I plan to read his book, so what if I take a year or two to do that. What matters is that I have taken an oath to read it ;-).



I am planning to be in romantic mood all day long today, so you may hear stories of a girl going about planting kissing on every one’s cheek, everyone within 200 meters. 200 meters because people are so scared of grumpy me that they are shit scared of coming within a dart range, poor bastards!



Oops, im not gonna let my anger get the best of me, not today, no chance- here to romantic girl on the block -woohoooo

Ahh Silly Me!

I think, I am done with this world! I am done with everyone. Done letting people make me feel bad, crash my confidence, treat me like shit, and all of that. They say in hindsight everyone is wiser, but me, ohh silly me, just defy all this.

This is all because of me, because I gave you right to make me feel and treat like shit. Make me feel like committing suicide.  Cut my veins or consume cup full of pills or jump in Yamuna, and die a dog’s death.

But the thought is over, and I am still alive, writing this. Sorry I have failed you, because I did not cry myself horse, so what if I was teary eyes- you could not have seen me from 1500 miles away.

I am instead going to go someplace calm, nice place and just think, if all this is worth it?

Darling- I am going to change, but not for you this time …for ME!

Adventure…could have been better, though!

Ok; so the other day I went out for a friend’s birthday party. And as expected of me; I lost my way back home…oh in fact I lost my way to the parking- where I had parked my car- to start with :-I


Anyway, I asked all the autowalas, within my sight, for direction(s). I think, this gave a chance to two college going guys to do their bit of social work for the day. So these, Pseudo- Heroes, started stalking me. Only that they chased wrong girl- Duh!

Just for thrills I press the accelerator flat, but then these stunt-men matched my speed, mark you, MY SPEED! Anyway when I have had enough of their nonsense, I took out my knockout- pepper spray and pointed it to them. Then I dialed a number on the phone, and pretended that I am talking to police, and started franticly gesticulating towards them. hehehe

All in all I scared then off and but I missed not being able to blind them with spray.:'( Tell you; they lacked the sports- spirit for that. :D

BTW- I am reading how to castrate a bull at present! ;-)

Dont Mess With Me!

First week at new office -you know how boring first week usually is- if you know what I mean. You have to be at your best, it is worse than first week of your marriage. Where you still have a chance to chide your husband in private ;-). Anyway, here in fact I am not feeling even a bit bored. Instead I am happy that I am away from that blighted soul (at earlier office)- where I had to constantly work on my will and somehow keep myself from the impulse and strong desire of bunging my Blackberry handset at him at a speed of 200km/h J.

But you know every place or office has its own, well-reputed, blighter(s). But trust me, if this time, forget about messing up with me, some irritant tries to say even ‘HI’ to me they are in for fractured ribs.

Geee…I can be a real devil sat times. Now I have scared myself too.

Why everything has a conditionality clause!

Is It only me or there are other people out there too, who are yet to experience a thing in their life which comes without conditionality clause? If you need to be successful real fast in life, you got to switch off the fun button in life. If you want to have all the fun, then you either need to be rich or marry a rich guy ;-).

Why can’t I just shun all my responsibilities in life and go live in Himalayas or go bag- packing around the country, for a month or two?

But no, I can’t do all this….. Because this pathetic life has this wretched conditions … conditions… and more conditions about everything…

So, all I can do it to sit on the chair and rant … ahhh…. And I can’t even use cuss words…. Another condition to be a good girl

Vodafone! Your customer care services suck big time

I have just changed my BB handset , so need to setup my outlook account on it, not that I’m too keen (coz I will be expected to respond to emails at midnight and as early as 7am… well expected duhhh ;-) ). So anyway, I have been calling Vodafone customer care since yesterday noon for this. Now I am more than 24 hours and 10s of calls away, still waiting for a mighty password, they are not ready to part with.

Vodafone, for sure, does know how to snatch away the light and humor from otherwise fairly nice woman. I hate you Vodafone….. all you cute looking zoozoos…… you guys are big lie……

Vodafone ! Get ready to lose Rs.1400 a month from your once loyal customer…..

Long live ….. MNP…. And all you other service providers get ready to woo a new customer, which you will surely win :)

keep your promises guys!

Your sitting in a five star hotel, facing your client and fidgeting with your cell phone.

Journalist had promised you that he is going to be there. You checked five minutes back and he confirmed that he is on this way; just in front of the hotel. coming!
Another call : yes yes i am coming!
one more call after 15 minutes - his phone is switched off or not taking your calls.

Boom.... he has just turned turtle at eleventh hour . He is not coming ... :-/

How many times this has happened with you in your PR career? I am sure, must have happened at least once. I think, they say many things just to play along,but, why bother doing that. Why not tell us that he are not interested in a meeting or doing certain story? Is it because that we PR people do not take no for an answer and keep on pestering a journalist, until he says yes?

Well, whatever is the reason; i cant put with the shindy my client is going to kick up soon.

Curse you Cricket

I am unable to understand people’s obsession with cricket. Having grown up in a cricket crazy family i sometimes hate this game more than my ill fitting dresses. I still painfully remember how because of this loathsome game my brother and dad would take possession of our only TV set. Okay, i admit, i had a teeny weeny crush on Jadeja but then he was given the sack. So, my only reason to watch this game was snatched away from me.



Why this sudden rant about cricket?? Because, i am still suffering from my dad’s cricket mania. Even though i am married, thankfully not to a cricket enthusiast, dad keeps on calling me to brief me not only about india’a match or how india is doing in particular series but about anything on cricket. He calls me to discuss about Pakistan’s alleged match fixing thing. When will he ever understand his daughter doesn’t as much as know the names of our (Indian) team.

God, I know, i am going to get good piece of mind if he ever come to know about this post.

Stop Fooling- Fashion and You

Came to know about this "great" website from my sis in law, bidya, Fashion and You. The site offers great discount on products when there is none going on the same product in the market. So, we were delighted to buy nice fashion products at huge discounts until we came to know about their sinister plan against poor us.


It turned out that Fashion and you is fooling us. They price some of the products at as low as rs.11. We tried so many times but every time this rs.11 thing is always sold out. One of Bidya's friends got so tired of this trick of theirs that she called on the number given on their website and inquired, "how come the product you label at Rs.11 is always sold out? No matter how many times i check this website i am always a few seconds late to make my big buy? Well the answer was not very enlightening. How can they say- hey girl that is the hook we use to get people like you to log on to our website.
Anyway we will keep on trying to buy something at Rs.11. let’s see if Fashion and You will make that happen. But as i always say nothing can kill a girl's love for shopping not even some deceiving tricks buy friggning websites

Ah- I'm a MOM Now

It has been pretty long since i have not written to you dear blog. I m sorry for keeping my life secret from you;you know I am happy to be a mom, most of the times, but you know it is little difficult to get used to run around someone all the time try to understand what my child wants when her vocabulary is limited to DADA . Plus i don’t have right on a minute of my time anymore :(. it is difficult but at the same time there is a great satisfying feeling in raising someone who is a part of me. So the love is unconditional. I know it sounds like cliché but unconditional love gives greatest satisfaction and pleasure better than having a shot of ecstasy (no i have never tried it)


All in all my decision of having a child so early in our marriage, while my husband wanted to wait for another four years, was not that wrong. i am not like this. don’t you? :D. But as you are about to know i have become a mom now (mixed feelings). So i was busy looking after my little one. She is almost eleven months old and already a handful. phewwww. anyway i am going to be regular again going to share my feelings, happiness, vent my anger here and little bit of gossiping as usual.

wow..i've completed 29 weeks

It’s great feeling that I have completed 29 weeks just 11 more weeks to go. At times I used to feel that I am going to be pregnant for eternity. But now as I have completed 2/3 of the time; I’m cheerful.

Baby has been moving and kicking a lot. Sometimes it feels funny how something inside your bump keeps moving… it’s little creepy too. It makes me think about all those movies where some evil thing gets inside your skin and starts moving. But, I know, I am being ridiculous. It is my baby inside me and can’t wait to see her.

Pregnancy at 23rd week and all that

I have not been able to write for a long time, because I was busy working and coping with early stages of pregnancy. But now I have complete 5 months and planning to take a sabbatical from next month. Therefore, now I will have plenty for time for my self.

Well pregnancy at six months: I feel good, no more mood swigs or nausea. But yes, now- a-days I have this unbearable itchiness from neck down till stomach. It is so agonizing that I wake up at night and start scratching like a dog. My doctor has recommended Lotus coco butter moisturizer but it’s of no help. I have been applying all type of oils such as coconut, olive, almond but nothing seems to work. I have tried applying different talcum powder also but as I said nothing works.

But, surprisingly, from yesterday onwards (till 12:54 today) i am not having this irritating itching problem. I have used some prickly heat talcum. I wish it works as I’m tired of behaving like an animal.

Apart from itching everything is perfect. The baby has started kicking and I have been playing Mozart for her. As I have read somewhere that yet-to-be born babies love Mozart. But I tell you, I was damn difficult to find a Mozart CD in Delhi. We looked in Connaught place, South Ex and finally got just one CD in Anasal Plaza, PlaneM. Anyway, my baby is so far not reacting to any music; however we are hopeful that she soon will.