Don't Tell Me What to Do!

How do you feel when you are told to perform your duties better? When you are constantly judged on what kind of mother are you; when you are blamed if the baby is not eating. For god sake! If the child doesn’t want to eat what am i suppose to do? The baby is almost three years old now and you cannot force her if she doesn’t want to eat. Just because I am her mother do you think I have magic wand and all I have to do is to tap it and baby will eat?

I fail to understand, what kind of cheap thrills one gets by sending other people on a guilt trips. When they just go on like a broken record...you are a bad mother...you are a selfish mother...I say FUCK YOU!!

Dude, i know what kind of mom i am; i don’t owe you an explanation. And nagging me doesn’t make you any better at parenting and If you are so upset about me not feeding her why don’t you take the plunge and do it? Oh, but then you have your reasons...right? She doesn’t eat when you try?? And what in the fucks name give you a right to nag me? Am I any different? How do you suppose that i will be able to feed her? She will eat when she wants; didn’t her doctor say the same thing?

What is it you want from me? I am tried on your mood swings; grow up and act like a mature person!

You think it’s Just-A-Party? Think Again...

God, how annoying is it when someone in your family throws a party and you are specifically told to dress up appropriately. I mean, come-on, do i tell you guys not to dress up in blinding red and green colours and wear kilos of jewellery. BTW, how do you manage to carry around those –a kilo each- danglers? What kind of adhesive do you use to avoid your ears from falling? (You have no idea how I resist the temptation to ask all this.) And have you seen those aunties who wear like layers of makeup and you can’t even make out if they are smiling or grimacing at you. And boy! Try calling them Aunty!

Anyway, so basically, they are not too happy with me turning up in my casual dresses (Mind you- nice white or light pink in cotton) and if i dare to dress up in jeans and tee or skirt, they might give orders of – Shoot at Sight!

I think, best option will be to just skip it -but i can’t even do that- danger of being chased about with a gun around the city for next year or two.  So, I will have to brave them on Saturday and I already started to have nightmares. Talk about family time...

Haven’t bought anything, so far, can’t get myself to waste 10-15k on a sari i won’t wear ever again. Guess, i will make a puppy face and ask someone from my family to lend me a sari for a night. Well, must start with zeroing on the person and then being good to her for a couple of days. Think it should do the trick.

Or will leave the list of items, i need for this party, under my pillow;  just in case god mother fairy picks dear me this time not that, her favourite,  stupid Cinderella.

I'll Still Live My Life How I Want To...

Read on twitter how Amit Mitra current Finance Minister of West Bengal kind of put the blame on a woman who was raped because she had gone to a night club, she is separated from her husband, leaving kids at home.

What I fail to understand and, I think, people don’t even make an effort to understand is that because you are a woman don’t you even have a right on your own life? What is wrong with people? I am in no mood to bash Amit Mitra or call him chauvinist. I just want people to respect each other. Because this woman is an estrange wife and a mother…cant she go to night club and enjoy life? Does it make her a bad person? Will one has to pay with her dignity for this?

Our parents, families are forced to take extra care of us, women. Will my dad check and try to make all the arrangements when my brother goes out of station? Will he come with driver to drop him at airport at 3 in the morning? But even if my dad makes all this extra efforts, I wonder, if he can breathe easy till the time I’m back home. And now my husband is in my dad’s shoe. I love my dad…my husband… but I hate it that even now they have to worry about me…no matter how many times I tell them I will manage…I can see it in their eyes they are concerned.

Will this ever stop? I think only with me gone… because people will never stop looking at women as more than an object and not a human being. Rules for women are different…if she goes out at night… she is responsible for the trouble she gets into…if she drinks meet male friends she deserved to be raped…and looked down at.

But I refuse to live how society wants me to…and I don’t care what you categorize as virtue and vice. I am going to live my life how I want it…doing things I want to do…because my life is the only thing I have complete right on.

Daily battle between GOOD and BAD

Sometimes, I wonder who decides Good and what is Bad? Shouldn’t all the things that make you happy be put in the ‘GOOD’ category? Well, then what if, punching someone in face makes me happy. Ofcourse, it can’t be considered GOOD. Okay, so how about something which makes me happy and doesn’t hurt anyone, as long as people don’t get to know about it, can it be considered GOOD??

or should I say, is it okay to lie to your loved ones because you don’t want to hurt them, because you know your action are going to hurt them badly?

I know you will think, why do something which you know will hurt your loved ones, anyway? But I ask you, cross your heart and tell me honestly, is it easy to refuse happiness?

Be it going for those secret shopping trips or meeting friends anything?
But my question is how far can you go…

Ahh Silly Me!

I think, I am done with this world! I am done with everyone. Done letting people make me feel bad, crash my confidence, treat me like shit, and all of that. They say in hindsight everyone is wiser, but me, ohh silly me, just defy all this.

This is all because of me, because I gave you right to make me feel and treat like shit. Make me feel like committing suicide.  Cut my veins or consume cup full of pills or jump in Yamuna, and die a dog’s death.

But the thought is over, and I am still alive, writing this. Sorry I have failed you, because I did not cry myself horse, so what if I was teary eyes- you could not have seen me from 1500 miles away.

I am instead going to go someplace calm, nice place and just think, if all this is worth it?

Darling- I am going to change, but not for you this time …for ME!

Adventure…could have been better, though!

Ok; so the other day I went out for a friend’s birthday party. And as expected of me; I lost my way back home…oh in fact I lost my way to the parking- where I had parked my car- to start with :-I


Anyway, I asked all the autowalas, within my sight, for direction(s). I think, this gave a chance to two college going guys to do their bit of social work for the day. So these, Pseudo- Heroes, started stalking me. Only that they chased wrong girl- Duh!

Just for thrills I press the accelerator flat, but then these stunt-men matched my speed, mark you, MY SPEED! Anyway when I have had enough of their nonsense, I took out my knockout- pepper spray and pointed it to them. Then I dialed a number on the phone, and pretended that I am talking to police, and started franticly gesticulating towards them. hehehe

All in all I scared then off and but I missed not being able to blind them with spray.:'( Tell you; they lacked the sports- spirit for that. :D

BTW- I am reading how to castrate a bull at present! ;-)

Dont Mess With Me!

First week at new office -you know how boring first week usually is- if you know what I mean. You have to be at your best, it is worse than first week of your marriage. Where you still have a chance to chide your husband in private ;-). Anyway, here in fact I am not feeling even a bit bored. Instead I am happy that I am away from that blighted soul (at earlier office)- where I had to constantly work on my will and somehow keep myself from the impulse and strong desire of bunging my Blackberry handset at him at a speed of 200km/h J.

But you know every place or office has its own, well-reputed, blighter(s). But trust me, if this time, forget about messing up with me, some irritant tries to say even ‘HI’ to me they are in for fractured ribs.

Geee…I can be a real devil sat times. Now I have scared myself too.

I hate Dabur Real Juice

I don't like Dabur Real juices. They are very sweet. I have tried orange, Litchi Nectar, Mix Juice and Guava but they all are sickly sweet. Why does Dabur has to add so much sugar to all it's juices?