:-( Sad

why im in dis state of mind? wat should i do y i want to go to some unknown place, sit dere alone, play "u had a bad day" song, do nothing but to stare blankly at sky and far far away. im in such a bad mood today. Where is the happiness?



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Confusing Wat Is Real

Life is sometimes so confusing. My mommy doesn't like this guy. May be because there is lot of cultural difference, and he is the oldest,got lot of responsibilities, and all . my Jiju who said, he will always be on my said, actually think i cant survive with him, so many things, marriage is one big decision and wat not. My colleagues think that i should sit and think over it. i should not make my parents unhappy, they the only one who actually love me, and they have a valid point.

WTF, its my life yaar. Let me decide for my self. Well the question is wat is it i want..hehehehe.

okey okey....lets do this, how about i stop talking to this guy for a week, and c if i miss him or not. The stupid filmy think like, think who do u want to spend ur life with, who do u c ur self growing old wid does not work for me. I have to think ..think...but not in a mood now.

May be some time latter, or y to think at all, i will my destiny only. So time to cheer up.

Y am I Sad?

Cant figure out the reason, y m i so sad? For some one who don't really care for me. Shame on me. May be this relation was never meant to be. May be he don't really need me. May be all this time i was clinging to him so much. I think he don't even like my company, i always knew some thing is wrong with me i am very difficult person, and no guy can ever be with me.

How can i forget that he asked me out on Saturday, first time during the day around 1:30 or two o'clock. We covered about 32km(one way) for a movie hall but we could not get the tickets so he drove me back and asked me to go home.Its not he was busy or some thing but he said here is nothing to do so u go home, and i ll also go home and rest. I could simply make out he was too bore to talk to me. Otherwise who else will do that.Its like he don't like my company, and is very bored of me so he avoid meeting me during the day time. He will always fix a meeting around six or seven in the evening, have dinner and drop me home.
My ego is completely crushed under his foot.i am like some toy to him. But i think i should now have some respect for my self, and leave dis guy alone. I have already disturbed him enough. Even if it make me sad...i dont have any other option.
Thank you very much for your time, but i dont need it anymore.
Wish you luck...
Enjoy.

wow..wat a feeling :-)

As soon as i come to office and saw the media activity docket, i was so angry.. i had to open it and then get lot of coverage’s pasted on our letter head , and the sequence was also not right :-X.. but i still did not say a single word and help this guy with every thing. Then after doing all that and handing over the presentation i made yesterday, my boss told me he will go alone for the meeting as he may need a backup so i had to stay back :X...
.... still weather is very pleasant, so we( A friend & I) went out to have coffee, then suddenly we started talking about our love lives. and .
She asked me what is it i like in him? and i said every thing ... i don't like his net surfing and bloggin, specially when he steal on my time for dis :) and he sleeping till 1:30 on holidays , when he is suppose to be up and ask me out:). i told her how cute is he, and how cute he looks when he mispronounce... :), and how we have met.

We have met through some blog, and i missed my media rounds coz i loved chatting to him, and how i used to lie that i am married and have a kid too. Then on day he told me dat he is getting married and will be out of town for one month. Though i did not know him dat time but still felt little bad, but said ok and congratulated him.;-) then after some time he told me about him and give me his no. too. Then the other day i also gave him my no. and showed him my pict and he also showed me his pict on orkut, he was not looking good in that pict. and then we decided to meet one day, i was feeling if should go and meet him or not as i did not like his pict. ;-) but still i dont know y i went and met him. when i saw him i was so happy as he is very cute and "chinki"(dont kill me for addressing u as CHINKI)and den i was little scared as he gave me quite scary pict of manipur. Once i was home he called me and asked me if i am scared or if i don’t like him, and i said no im not scared and i like u . :-), we started sharing a lot of sms , once we were messaging, i got tiredso i called him and said im tired of typing msgs. and we started chatting and kept on talking till my balanced died. But then he called me and we spoke for a long time. Since den we start speaking every night. he even come to pick me all de way to my office which was very far and i found it very cute. Though none of us would tell other that i love u, but i know we used to like each other a lot. Or why would he come down to pick me or call me without fail. I would wait for his call i used to sleep at nine o'clock but for his call i have waited till 1:30 at night :-). then every time at night i will ask him tell me ...tell me tell me ...and he would be like wat?? ru mad bella? go to sleep... and every morning i will send him message saying i m sorry for last night i dont mean anything. hahaha...so den he started asking me do u drink at night ?? idiot... :-) we will discuss that wat is happening it should not happen and we are fast but not say it..hahah...till one fine day we could not suppress it anymore...

I love de way we met it may be little scary to meet some one u met on net and trust that person to sit in his car the very first time. But i did every thing i advise all my friends not to do...and im so happy that i did it...and i m so thank full to thai mata who made me meet him. I love u...:-*

Wat a weather

Weather is very beautiful today...just rained about five minutes back. Its not cold but very pleasant,but the saddest part is i am sitting here in my office and working.[on blog ;-)]. i wish i could get my childhood days back, when we used to run through the field during rain(in Himachal)and play in muddy Paddy field, and get all dirty..wow those were absolutely beautiful days. I remember once i got a ghastly cut in my feet as i was not wearing shoes coz i wanted to feel the mud, and i did not even realised that i cut my foot till the time i saw blood...oh my god i was all bloody and i started crying awfully.:-) and scared all the kids.
suddenly, my mind seems to be taken up by the reminiscences of childhood gaiety and and anguish. [:)]...and its a beautiful feeling.

We had a grape vine (very old one) in our courtyard(Himachal), and as i was older to my brother by two and half years i could climb on it( infact a fig tree which dis vine has used for support) and my brother couldn't. So he would wait for me to throw grapes to him. So once i was up on the tree and my brother (whom i address as VEER) was waiting down, but i was being greedy eating all the big ones and was not throwing even a single grape to him. So after waiting for 15-20 minutes he got real pissed off wid me. He said either u throw so grapes or i am going to hit u with a stone, he was holding one pebble. So i said go ahead and started laughing on him as he was very young, and i though he couldn't hit me no matter how hard he try, but to my surprise he threw the stone on me which hit me right on my teeth and one of my front teeth fall down , while the other hung on as by 5% roots still attached. [:)] and i was bleeding like hell. Veer was very scared to see the blood and run away, as i was crying (in fact hauling) my mom came rushing, she was shocked to see me and asked wat happened, i depicted he whole story of course favouring to me :) den she pull of my other tooth too. and i was toothless for some moths and waited anxiously for new teeth. As for veeer...i actually don't remember if got the bashing or not..but I'm sure he must have got....
:-)

Women.....

women...ya dats wat I'm.

u know wat a woman want?? no no she don't want expensive gifts, eating out, watching movies, long drives...none of all these. Wat she want is time... emotional security. I know, only i can make myself happy. u dont need to tell me dis.Don't tell me wat should i do.. who should i go around wid, i can decide for my self. I know wat should i do wat i shouldn't.

But dont u know a woman can lead u to love...an den decide if to take u r leave u?? :-)
do u think women are very weak?...think again...dey r not...dey r stronger den men..or y on de earth do u think god blessed women with ability to give birth?? She can care for u more den u yourself can...she can love u more den anything,even u cant think of...but u know de irony only she can also break ur heart carelessly and laugh while u going through terrible pain....
If she loves u don't think she is an idiot. U never know when she changes her mind...and become cruel. :-)

Happy Women's Day

Had a lot of fun yesterday (International women's day. All of us(my female colleagues)decided to wear skirts and some thing black...either the skirt or the top.
But 3 of us ditched dem..i wore a dark blue denim skirt and pretend as if all this time i was thinking its black..and wore a pink tee[;-)]..one of the girl wore grey skrt fringed wit black lace & white tee:) and another one of us [ditcher] wore some colour full skirt wid with one or two small black flower on it & white Kurti ;) rest were wearing sum thing black...then we went out for lunch, and first time in my life i had Bacardi breezier.i was not high or something but my head became little heavy.Then we played some rock songs at office. latter in the evening he come to pick me. i introduced him to all my colleagues. then we(p.n &i) had dinner at pizza hut and he dropped me home...so all in all yesterday was fun...

p.s.- all my colleagues was saying dat i don't behave like girl, i don't stand, walk. talk or act like them:-X
but den p.n. finds me very feminine...:-)...well dats more den enough for me. :-)

Ok I Accept Im 1 Confused gal ;-)

Was just going through my blog and realised how confused and fickle minded person iam... making contradictory statements in every other post ;-). Hey but life is fun. and im such an idiot, i want to learn guitar, i even have one(gifted) but i still have not joined the classes.. spoke to a friend today over the phone and he said he will teach me ya ya he can play well, but i was scared to go to his place as he stay alone and im not very confortable as i dont know him to dat extent. so i asked him if its possible for him to come to some place where he can teach me...and he said yes ...[wow yes yes yes] so may be tomorrow we will meet and den he will teach me. anyway on monday or tuesday i ll take admission in guitar class.

wow

Its funny

hey i love every thing.....ummmmmmaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Enjoying Myself.....

Hey i am having lot of fun today...just realized how life is a lot more fun without b/f...[;-)]...i woke up and sent sms to him, had breakfast wrote a post and den go back to sleep...den woke up very late around 1:30 or two... called him but he was fixing his website...so i said ok u call me once ur through.... its whatever time ( 7pm) and he, poor thing still fixing his website....and i am still having fun...chatted wid friend on orkut and listening to sum funny song..i did not realise how time passed...whole day long had lots of fun.... still enjoying dis state....its like im a free bird..... wow
and its a great feeling to be a free bird.....
its gud to take charge of one's life... not to sit wid sad face and mood and wait for sumone's call.
its great its cool....im loving it..

thnx Thai Mata for every thing....:)