Fighting Again

hey.. had fight with him, just started with leg pulling, and then things got out of proportion. know i said lot of wrong thing, i am no one to judge him from his past.

But i also don't like the way he said i don't give a shitty fuck to people judging me from my past. and he was not even sorry for this, but instead putting all the blame on me....

Then all his massages that he cant take it any more, bye, you are free to go back to Vicky....

and then i love you ....and stuff is he not more confused then I'm?

Wat Shall i do now..

Hmmm Hmmm thinking time...hey its like i have been living my life without any purpose, high time , i think, i should think over it. So what shall i do. what all i wanted to do in my life.....all my dreams has been blurred because of my impulsive decisions But now anymore. i want to all the things i have dreamt of....so here goes the list
1)Learning guitar ( I'll have to pay him back Rs2500)
2) Dance (salsa)
3) Travel
4)Adopt a baby girl

SO i need to start planing,from today itself.

Well I'm taking guitar classes from 10th of march.. i mean as soon as i get my salary..

Gonna live life as if its wonderland..
:)
i love u Thai Mata..

Those were the days..:)

I can't stop thinking about my childhood days. We, my brother who is 3 years younger to me and i used to have lots of fun together. Mummy never used to let us go out and play during summer afternoon because sun used to be very scorching in Himachal( ya we used to stay in Himachal) But we were very smart , we use to wait for mummy to fall asleep and as soon as she is asleep we use to get up from our beds and get down from window, and call one of our friend name PYARUUU (ahahaha) and go to collect Aam(mangos). We would play all those dirty games, i would hold pyaru by arms and Veer(my bro) will hold him from feet and throw him in heap of dung.......hahaha (ohh im laughing). And we use to beat up a guy name bittu when ever he will pass by our home....hahahaha....and than every morning while going school we would start crying, as dat guys house was on the way to school.(hahaha).... when ever veer would not do something for me i will tell him i will give you sweets name JHOOTH, and he was so innocent and cute he would actually believe me and fall for same thing again and again....[:)].......People used to think that we are twines as we were of same height and use to wear same cloths and shoes....even had same hair cut....I was so boyish all my childhood in fact all my school life.

I used to fight with my elder sister for veer. i would never let her get angry on him or slap him. i never slapped my veer all my childhood ...i was like mom to him. i would always take so good care of him. Yes, we used to fight too a lot lot lot, we used to fight like those WWF player.(:)]... For anything, for sweets, for roti,he will say i want that roti , i would say no i want that, and fight on any thing ...for plates for glass for spoon, for seat anything on this earth . But i remember we use to keep every thing to our self , we would not even tell mummy...(:) ) ...once i broke some thing, and mommy was pretty mad, i don't remember wat did i break. so she asked who broke it, i did not said any thing,. veer said he has broken it so mummy started getting angry on him, so i intervened and said i have broken it. It made mom even more mad, she was like,,,,what do u guys think of ur self u keep secrets from me. and she gave both of us hot ears and hot faces too(hahahaha).................ohhh i miss those days..i miss everything about those day...I love my veer, and love my mom too....of course dad, badi did, choti did...and dere respective families too....

:)

Simply Beautiful

Here I am going to put some beautiful pictures of the places i have been to....ohhhh we had lot of fun...we?? my family :)

Life is not so bad...

Life is not so bad anyway...it's beautiful. believe me it is you who just have to change your perception to see it. Just because this guy told me that he is sick and tired of every thing, and he has nothing to do with me, just because he said that he cant believe i am so so trivial, does not mean i will feel bad and cry....

OK i felt bad but than realise hey....why am i feeling bad?

i cant change what other think about me...right...or can i ?? or can any one?? no we cant so why feel bad, as i know i am not sick...

i am so lively so so happy. i know i am strong....so why to feel bad just because some one or the whole world think otherwise........

As long as i love my self i don't care...and i know i am going to enjoy my company for the rest of my life....so be happy...

Its My Life...not URS

Today the weather is very pleasant. But it’s putting me to sleep. I had a great day till 3:00 o’clock than he called up. We spoke for 10-15 minutes, but once he logged to his g- mail account he sounded lost, so I asked him, if he is checking his email, he said yes. So I said ok.... you check your email. He was like, ok. bye, and hung up. I found it kind of rude. Why, coz he called me, and then he put me on hold so i hung up, than he called me again when some one in his office suddenly started talking to him, he said hold a sec. and don’t hung up, and I did not. But when he log on to net I couldn't understand what happens to him.

Our relationship is very funny. I don’t understand it. We exchange a message in the morning. wishing morning and good day ahead. Some time with good mood and emotions but some time just for the heck of it…………… Than we hardly speak during the day. I used to call him some time and we use to speak fora minute or 2 , as he is always very busy. But now days I don’t call him so he calls me once or twice a day for 2 to five minutes.


Then he calls me at night around 11:30 or at 12 some time at 12:30. Once he is through with his magazines, his blog every…. Every single thing then he gives me a call. And the funniest thing is he expects me to believe me that I am his top priority and he loves me a lot…..funny hunnnnhhhh.

Ok, he comes to pick me some time, once or twice a week; we meet every Saturday and Sunday. Eat out have great time together. But I don’t feel if he really care for me. I don’t know y but I don’t think he means what ever he says. So now I am trying to be neutral. I don’t want to feel for him or any other guy. I am tired of it. I want to be independent, happy with my self. Don’t need someone to make me happy or sad…..And know what, I can do what I decide . If I cant change the world, the people around me….I can surely change my self.

Where is life taking me

It's been more than a month we have broken up or to be honest i have moved out of the relationship, 6 years, ohhh, it's a 7th year old relationship. We don't gel well, we fight like cats and dogs, we are not each other's type- these were some of the excuses i gave before breaking the news to him........ but i wonder if we didn't use to gel well, were not each other's type then how did our relationship survive for so long. when he was calling me for about a month and wanted me to come back, he did every thing he could to convince me that we can be very happy together but as usual i was confused and adamant to go back...but.

but its been more than a week he has not called me, and day before yesterday i was missing him so much. i missed the way he cared for me, i missed every thing about him, about us, i missed him getting angry on me. i missed him. But now i cant go back to him, what face would i take to him. And most important thing i don't know if i want to go back.

i like this other guy. i love him, or i think i love him. But some time i really wonder do i love him?

So, now i have left every thing on god. He will take me where ever he wants to take me. I only wish he could minimise the suffering while taking me through the rough roads....

Hmmm Life

well well...thinking where to start from . I am 26 so there is lot to write about my life, good things, bad things, things i love, i hate, my wishes, desires, mistakes, blunders.....

I used to think my life is my own, but than i realized, no its not. Its not the things i do or i say makes me happy, but also what people around me, dear to me do or say.

Not anymore in mood to write so heavy and profound things, as one of my friend is on phone and making me laugh out loud. Never knew he is so funny....all his questions are making me laugh and at times irritating me too


..... wondering why all my friends think i am so funny, and too boyish. Now a days trying my best to act like girls. [:)]

aahhh enough for today ...will write some thing crappy tomorrow.

cheers!