Don't Tell Me What to Do!

How do you feel when you are told to perform your duties better? When you are constantly judged on what kind of mother are you; when you are blamed if the baby is not eating. For god sake! If the child doesn’t want to eat what am i suppose to do? The baby is almost three years old now and you cannot force her if she doesn’t want to eat. Just because I am her mother do you think I have magic wand and all I have to do is to tap it and baby will eat?

I fail to understand, what kind of cheap thrills one gets by sending other people on a guilt trips. When they just go on like a broken record...you are a bad mother...you are a selfish mother...I say FUCK YOU!!

Dude, i know what kind of mom i am; i don’t owe you an explanation. And nagging me doesn’t make you any better at parenting and If you are so upset about me not feeding her why don’t you take the plunge and do it? Oh, but then you have your reasons...right? She doesn’t eat when you try?? And what in the fucks name give you a right to nag me? Am I any different? How do you suppose that i will be able to feed her? She will eat when she wants; didn’t her doctor say the same thing?

What is it you want from me? I am tried on your mood swings; grow up and act like a mature person!

You think it’s Just-A-Party? Think Again...

God, how annoying is it when someone in your family throws a party and you are specifically told to dress up appropriately. I mean, come-on, do i tell you guys not to dress up in blinding red and green colours and wear kilos of jewellery. BTW, how do you manage to carry around those –a kilo each- danglers? What kind of adhesive do you use to avoid your ears from falling? (You have no idea how I resist the temptation to ask all this.) And have you seen those aunties who wear like layers of makeup and you can’t even make out if they are smiling or grimacing at you. And boy! Try calling them Aunty!

Anyway, so basically, they are not too happy with me turning up in my casual dresses (Mind you- nice white or light pink in cotton) and if i dare to dress up in jeans and tee or skirt, they might give orders of – Shoot at Sight!

I think, best option will be to just skip it -but i can’t even do that- danger of being chased about with a gun around the city for next year or two.  So, I will have to brave them on Saturday and I already started to have nightmares. Talk about family time...

Haven’t bought anything, so far, can’t get myself to waste 10-15k on a sari i won’t wear ever again. Guess, i will make a puppy face and ask someone from my family to lend me a sari for a night. Well, must start with zeroing on the person and then being good to her for a couple of days. Think it should do the trick.

Or will leave the list of items, i need for this party, under my pillow;  just in case god mother fairy picks dear me this time not that, her favourite,  stupid Cinderella.

This one is for...hmm...ME!

Isn’t it a great feeling, when you wait with a bated breath just to chat with a friend? Why does this happen?  And oh boy! How you don’t want this to be over, but you know what, you know all this will be over sooner than later. So you pray even harder for it not to be over. And then you get more scared of the fact that it will. And this is, I tell you, is a vicious circle. The whirlwind!

I think, the problem with our species is being ungrateful and greedy all the time, you want something bad enough, but when you get it you lose all  the respect for it. And there, now you want something else! Sometimes I feel bad for god, poor thing; must be going crazy up there with our volatile minds and demands. But didn’t you ask for something else, just the opposite, like ten minutes back- he would have asked us, only if he too had a telephone.

Okay so back to what I was discussing; it’s a great feeling, very fulfilling, to have a friend with whom you can be yourself, share you joys and doubts, without the fear of being coming across as an arse, talk about your problems you wouldn’t even discuss with you siblings and be assure that your secrets are not going anywhere. But the problem is the thin line between friendship and something else, and we just being mortal get confused at times.  Lets again blame god for making us this confusing…couldn’t he chose some nice, intelligent, clear-headed man for our genes pool, why oh why did he limited it to Noah?

How I keep derailing from the essential topic; so I was saying, that how do you make sure that you stay friends for life- for I have a few friends I do plan to retain lifelong. And again, why do you want a specific one to be your best friend and best friend for life? Isn’t as a rule your spouse should be your best friend?  Doesn’t everyone preach you so? But the problem is how are you going to bitch about your spouse with him/her only? Didn’t I raise the most pertinent questions?  (oh I could have been a lawyer but end up being a big lair)

I am bad at retaining friends; I have a bad history of having loony friends. I somehow attract wrong and mean people, but then who cares. Life is all about committing mistakes and not learning from those.  Who wants to waste time learning and remembering and then trying not to commit the same mistake again? For starters I Don’t  and I never will!

Anyway, I’m not coming to conclusion; this blog is not about conclusions and answers and logic. It is about writing down my random thoughts and then read them once I’m 60 and count my friends and see if I still think the same.

Here’s to the Most Opinionated Person in Office

He might be a person with a condescending attitude and an opinion about everything in life- from office loo to ‘much expected’ clients. But I have started to like his company off late, because he, I have seen, can strike interesting conversations with anyone and everyone.  Actually, I’m his evening driverJ. I drop him off till CR Park , and during this 45 minutes drive we have fascinating conversation on what needs to be changed  in this country to this company.

We rant about our day and pass opinions and comments about other people and  colleagues. Only yesterday, he was telling me about this girl in office, and to quote him, “what a beauty she is, and I fail to understand why all the guys in this office are idiots; why are they not eyeing her?” and he being he will not buy any of the explanations such as what is she already has a BF (it’s her prob- says him) or what if they all have GFs (  they are wasting their time and are idiots then). I think, he must be regretting that he is married, well though he did not say so…hehehe.

oh! by the way he doesnt find this other 'quite pretty' girl in office pretty, coz as per him she is dumb, and a dumb women can never be attractive. :D

But all in all, he is a good company, some times a bit annoying and mostly loud, but he is an intelligent  guy  and like me has a thing for bitching and cribbing. :D

P.S.- You better not start on  politics or sports with him, he can talk about it without eating or drinking for days…he is a BONG!

I’m online shopping sites favorite too

So I’m not only ‘my favorite’ (Aka Karina style in Jab we met) any longer, I think most of the deal and shopping sites are in love with me. What do they care, if my husband’s love go a notch down every time I reciprocate to the love showered by such ecommerce site. 

I must be getting something around 6- messages and about 10 emails every day from various such sites.  While I am expected to spend half of my day going though all the best deals available every day what do I get in return?  Rotten deals, while Fashion and you took more than a month to deliver my coat, winters were almost over by the time I received it, number given on the deal and you voucher was unobtainable ( but I did manage to talk to someone at the parlor and get an appointment for coming Saturday J)- so the final verdict will be delivered post that.

Now, what I would really love to see is some credits for falling for your well written charming word, every time. But please spare me from some ridiculous points such as 100, coz I got 150 points from Fashion and you, and after spending 150 hours going through every page of the site I couldn’t find a single item for 150 bucks L. So, let’s play fair please…not bait thingy, if you want to retain this customer of yours.

Now I’m running to have my lunch…rest later

   Ciao, Bella

I'll Still Live My Life How I Want To...

Read on twitter how Amit Mitra current Finance Minister of West Bengal kind of put the blame on a woman who was raped because she had gone to a night club, she is separated from her husband, leaving kids at home.

What I fail to understand and, I think, people don’t even make an effort to understand is that because you are a woman don’t you even have a right on your own life? What is wrong with people? I am in no mood to bash Amit Mitra or call him chauvinist. I just want people to respect each other. Because this woman is an estrange wife and a mother…cant she go to night club and enjoy life? Does it make her a bad person? Will one has to pay with her dignity for this?

Our parents, families are forced to take extra care of us, women. Will my dad check and try to make all the arrangements when my brother goes out of station? Will he come with driver to drop him at airport at 3 in the morning? But even if my dad makes all this extra efforts, I wonder, if he can breathe easy till the time I’m back home. And now my husband is in my dad’s shoe. I love my dad…my husband… but I hate it that even now they have to worry about me…no matter how many times I tell them I will manage…I can see it in their eyes they are concerned.

Will this ever stop? I think only with me gone… because people will never stop looking at women as more than an object and not a human being. Rules for women are different…if she goes out at night… she is responsible for the trouble she gets into…if she drinks meet male friends she deserved to be raped…and looked down at.

But I refuse to live how society wants me to…and I don’t care what you categorize as virtue and vice. I am going to live my life how I want it…doing things I want to do…because my life is the only thing I have complete right on.

Daily battle between GOOD and BAD

Sometimes, I wonder who decides Good and what is Bad? Shouldn’t all the things that make you happy be put in the ‘GOOD’ category? Well, then what if, punching someone in face makes me happy. Ofcourse, it can’t be considered GOOD. Okay, so how about something which makes me happy and doesn’t hurt anyone, as long as people don’t get to know about it, can it be considered GOOD??

or should I say, is it okay to lie to your loved ones because you don’t want to hurt them, because you know your action are going to hurt them badly?

I know you will think, why do something which you know will hurt your loved ones, anyway? But I ask you, cross your heart and tell me honestly, is it easy to refuse happiness?

Be it going for those secret shopping trips or meeting friends anything?
But my question is how far can you go…