Don't Tell Me What to Do!

How do you feel when you are told to perform your duties better? When you are constantly judged on what kind of mother are you; when you are blamed if the baby is not eating. For god sake! If the child doesn’t want to eat what am i suppose to do? The baby is almost three years old now and you cannot force her if she doesn’t want to eat. Just because I am her mother do you think I have magic wand and all I have to do is to tap it and baby will eat?

I fail to understand, what kind of cheap thrills one gets by sending other people on a guilt trips. When they just go on like a broken record...you are a bad mother...you are a selfish mother...I say FUCK YOU!!

Dude, i know what kind of mom i am; i don’t owe you an explanation. And nagging me doesn’t make you any better at parenting and If you are so upset about me not feeding her why don’t you take the plunge and do it? Oh, but then you have your reasons...right? She doesn’t eat when you try?? And what in the fucks name give you a right to nag me? Am I any different? How do you suppose that i will be able to feed her? She will eat when she wants; didn’t her doctor say the same thing?

What is it you want from me? I am tried on your mood swings; grow up and act like a mature person!

You think it’s Just-A-Party? Think Again...

God, how annoying is it when someone in your family throws a party and you are specifically told to dress up appropriately. I mean, come-on, do i tell you guys not to dress up in blinding red and green colours and wear kilos of jewellery. BTW, how do you manage to carry around those –a kilo each- danglers? What kind of adhesive do you use to avoid your ears from falling? (You have no idea how I resist the temptation to ask all this.) And have you seen those aunties who wear like layers of makeup and you can’t even make out if they are smiling or grimacing at you. And boy! Try calling them Aunty!

Anyway, so basically, they are not too happy with me turning up in my casual dresses (Mind you- nice white or light pink in cotton) and if i dare to dress up in jeans and tee or skirt, they might give orders of – Shoot at Sight!

I think, best option will be to just skip it -but i can’t even do that- danger of being chased about with a gun around the city for next year or two.  So, I will have to brave them on Saturday and I already started to have nightmares. Talk about family time...

Haven’t bought anything, so far, can’t get myself to waste 10-15k on a sari i won’t wear ever again. Guess, i will make a puppy face and ask someone from my family to lend me a sari for a night. Well, must start with zeroing on the person and then being good to her for a couple of days. Think it should do the trick.

Or will leave the list of items, i need for this party, under my pillow;  just in case god mother fairy picks dear me this time not that, her favourite,  stupid Cinderella.

This one is for...hmm...ME!

Isn’t it a great feeling, when you wait with a bated breath just to chat with a friend? Why does this happen?  And oh boy! How you don’t want this to be over, but you know what, you know all this will be over sooner than later. So you pray even harder for it not to be over. And then you get more scared of the fact that it will. And this is, I tell you, is a vicious circle. The whirlwind!

I think, the problem with our species is being ungrateful and greedy all the time, you want something bad enough, but when you get it you lose all  the respect for it. And there, now you want something else! Sometimes I feel bad for god, poor thing; must be going crazy up there with our volatile minds and demands. But didn’t you ask for something else, just the opposite, like ten minutes back- he would have asked us, only if he too had a telephone.

Okay so back to what I was discussing; it’s a great feeling, very fulfilling, to have a friend with whom you can be yourself, share you joys and doubts, without the fear of being coming across as an arse, talk about your problems you wouldn’t even discuss with you siblings and be assure that your secrets are not going anywhere. But the problem is the thin line between friendship and something else, and we just being mortal get confused at times.  Lets again blame god for making us this confusing…couldn’t he chose some nice, intelligent, clear-headed man for our genes pool, why oh why did he limited it to Noah?

How I keep derailing from the essential topic; so I was saying, that how do you make sure that you stay friends for life- for I have a few friends I do plan to retain lifelong. And again, why do you want a specific one to be your best friend and best friend for life? Isn’t as a rule your spouse should be your best friend?  Doesn’t everyone preach you so? But the problem is how are you going to bitch about your spouse with him/her only? Didn’t I raise the most pertinent questions?  (oh I could have been a lawyer but end up being a big lair)

I am bad at retaining friends; I have a bad history of having loony friends. I somehow attract wrong and mean people, but then who cares. Life is all about committing mistakes and not learning from those.  Who wants to waste time learning and remembering and then trying not to commit the same mistake again? For starters I Don’t  and I never will!

Anyway, I’m not coming to conclusion; this blog is not about conclusions and answers and logic. It is about writing down my random thoughts and then read them once I’m 60 and count my friends and see if I still think the same.